Want to try BDSM? These beginner-friendly products will help you start (2024)

Unbound Tether

Tether is bondage tape and can be used to tie up wrists or ankles, or even bind your partner to furniture. “Tether is easy to use, beginner-friendly and the best part is that it only sticks onto itself, not your hair, skin or other objects,” says Miller.

Bed Buckler

“The Bed Buckler by Liberator is a classic restraining set compatible with almost every bed,” says Zane. “It doesn't take long to set up, and the ankle and wrist cuffs are soft and easily adjustable.” The set even comes with a blindfold, if needed.

Odax Sensation Wheel

“Sensation play is one of my favorite ways to begin a scene, and a Wartenberg pinwheel is perfect for starting slow, especially when combined with other things like bondage or sensory deprivation,” says Mistress Eve. This one has a 4.3-star rating from nearly 3,000 shoppers and is made of stainless steel.

Spartacus Endurance Butterfly Nipple Clamps

“Nipples are a powerful erogenous zone, and butterfly clamps can be utilized as a reward or punishment— depending on your preference,” says Mistress Eve. These clamps are waterproof and extremely lightweight, according to Amazon shoppers. You can also clean them after use — just remember they’re handwash only.

Maude Burn No.1

Miller recommends Maude massage candles for beginners looking to experiment with temperature play. These soy-based candles are available in three scents and one fragrance-free version, perfect for sensitive skin, according to the brand. Once you extinguish the candle, you can pour the melted wax onto your skin and use it as a massage oil.

Collar and Leash

“If control and bondage are exciting to you, utilizing a leash and collar can set a distinct tone for your play and help you slip into a D/s dynamic,” says Mistress Eve. This one is adjustable and made from nickel-free hardware.

Ball Gag

“One of the easiest ways to try engaging with entry-level control play is through sensory deprivation, and a basic ball gag is a hot and easy way to establish a clear power dynamic in your play,” says Mistress Eve. This option is slightly cushioned so your partner can bite down on it. It’s also adjustable and comes highly rated by Amazon shoppers.

“SM 101: A Realistic Introduction”

“This book includes a really great breakdown of the history and psychology of BDSM, as well as practical ways to implement it into your sex life,” says Mistress Eve. It talks about bondage, spanking, role-playing and more, and includes a new chapter on starting and running sadomasoch*stic organizations and events for consenting adults.

“Boyslu*t: A Memoir and Manifesto”

“Boyslu*t is about how to overcome sexual shame so you can reach a place where you can explore (and embrace) your sexual desire,” says Zane. It's a truly informative read and talks about different sexual experiences and how they affected Zane both physically and psychologically.

“Hurts So Good: The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose”

Another recommendation by Mistress Eve, this book discusses masochism and why people love to engage with pain on purpose. It’s a good read to help understand your sexual, emotional and physical boundaries, according to Eve.