Her nerves were burning. Her skin pulled itself taught, raising the hairs on the back of her neck. The air was still. Her subconscious was aware something was definitely wrong.
Her eyes snapped open and locked onto deep pools of crimson. The skin under his eyes was purple, as if he had never known a good rest.
A swift breeze pushed the clouds, revealing the moon’s ethereal glow. The moonlight eerily lit his skin to a ghastly pale and his eyes glowed. Red irises trapping the moonlight in the center of his pupils. His teeth were sharp and spit strands were connecting his top and bottom canines. His eyes locked back onto hers. A thin body of bones, with dark, heavy bags and sunken eyes, poised right above her, ready to bleed her dry. She could feel her heart pounding in her ears.
“sh*t!” Realization flickered across his face and he pulled back quickly. He lost his balance and crashed to the ground. His voice began stirring her conscious-brain forward.
“Astarion?” She hated how shaky her thumping heart made her sound. Her mind was in chaos, but she was quickly catching up.
She wasn't in danger, Astarion was just- his teeth were at her throat. She had been in danger. His eyes, the punctured scars on his neck, the way he had known the precise time when the boar had been drained and the way he behaved while being questioned about it, it all made sense now. Shadowheart was right, he is a vampire.
He backed up quickly, as she sat up. He shuffled back onto his feet while she shifted to a crouch. He turned to run and she's on the balls of her feet, coiled to pounce. She knew once he left camp, he'd never come back. She couldn't let that happen. It was selfish, but she wanted a chance to talk.
He managed to get as far as the outskirts of camp before she covered the distance between them. He was quick and had a head start, but she had a longer stride. She tackled him and they rolled on the floor. With great effort, her legs pinned his hips down. He didn't hesitate to slap in attempts to deter her off. The flurry was annoying for Bauruto, but not enough to forget he still carried a dagger. She grabbed both of his wrists before they could grasp his weapon.
“Oh no, we don't want things to get messy,” Bauruto's voice was soft and steady. She was gentle pinning his wrists above his head.
“Don’t touch me! Get off of me!” He was struggling against her grip, hissing and snapping at her. Seeing his teeth up close again, she confirmed his vampirism, but the fear she had experienced when she woke up was replaced with curiosity and caution.
“Easy, easy. I don't mean you harm,” she softly reassured.
He spat, “You expect me to believe that?”, before writhing in her clutches. She tightened her hold to keep him from escaping. Great, now she's caught a vampire, and he's about as fickle as a feline. As deadly as a large one, too.
“You woke me up. I want to know why, and I'd rather not get the cleric to cast speak with the dead.” Astarion wasn't stronger than her, but he was intensely squirmy. He was becoming increasingly difficult to pin down and she was wracking her mind to find the right words for this situation to calm him down. “There's no point in killing you. I get nothing out of it,” she was firm, but still carried her reassuring tone. Maybe he could tell she meant it, or maybe he was tired. His body slowly eased and he raised his gaze to meet hers. “I really don't want to kill you,” she repeats before adding slowly, “I just wish you could've brought this up before you tried stealing a late night snack.”
“Oh sure! – Hello. I’m just a tad bit hungry. Can I have just a nibble on your neck? I promise I'm a friendly vampire! – That would've gone great.” he scoffed, rolling his eyes.
“A much better plan than just restricting your diet, sneaking around and eventually biting one of us in the middle of the night. If we are to survive, we need to trust each other. Besides, everyone knows a vampire is a sanguinivore. I could never fault you for something so outside your control,” her tone remained soft and gentle.
“You’d expect me to believe you would?! No one ever trusts a vampire. You and the rest would’ve staked me through the heart if I had brought it up!”
“Astarion, I'm not interested in killing you. I would've done so the first time we crossed paths and you held your blade against my throat. You're worth more alive than dead. Your vampirism doesn't change that.”
“So why restrain me like a wild animal, if my vampirism isn't such a problem?” There was an angry hiss exhaling from his lungs. His fangs were accentuated by the moonlight but the novelty wore off for Bauruto to pay much mind.
“You serious?” She dropped her gentle tone and her no-nonsense demeanor kicked. “You get caught trying to bite without permission, immediately take off running - and we both know you wouldn’t be back showing your face after that - and you're shocked I followed, demanding answers?”
“You don't have to hold me down!” Astarion protested, fighting against his restraints.
“I did because you'd run before we've had a proper discussion.” She tried to go back to her soothing demeanor, but the fussy, pale elf was really testing her patience.
“Would not!”
“Fine.” She snapped before adding, “Prove me wrong!”, and immediately loosened her hold.
Astarion, feeling more room to wiggle, slid from her grip and dashed off.
Bauruto rolled her eyes in annoyance and chased after him.
Astarion was laying face down. He lifted his head and propped it up with his hand, tapping the soft dirt in annoyance with his other hand's fingers. He hadn't gotten far from where he slipped away from Bauruto. She had caught him again, this time she was sitting on him, full weight pinning him down. She was holding his knife, looking it over, absentmindedly.
“You're heavy,” he grumbled.
“And you run,” she stated flatly, “like a coward.”
He audibly scowled and let the silence fill the air.
“When you feel ready, I have questions I'd like answered.” Her voice gently broke the dead air before silence washed over them again.
“Alright, fine.” Astarion gave up, exasperated. “Ask away.”
Bauruto knew by this point that this guy would lie just to get out of a messy situation, so she chose her questions carefully. At first, his replies were stiff. He definitely didn't want to talk, much less open up about himself, but after a moment, it became easier. His answers painted a clearer picture for Bauruto.
With Astarion's previous behavior and mannerisms, along with analyzing his answers, she could see there was a scared, neglected, and hurt person hidden under the mask he wore on his face. Sure, it was possible that he could be lying, but it was hard to fabricate the pain he harbored in his heart, pain that echoed her own, secret past. All she had ever wanted back then was someone to provide her safety, security. Now she found herself in a position to be that person she never had, to someone who needed it.
“Look, I'm not pleased you woke me up, trying to bite me without asking. No one at camp would like things done to them without expressed permission, either, but if you can respect that boundary, I'm sure I can smooth it over with the others.” She said.
“I can't make any promises about the occasional bandits, but… I can try,” he replied.
“Trying won't be enough, Astarion, you strictly cannot bite anyone in camp without first receiving their approval. Sure, if it's kill or be killed, that's on the bandits and enemies we face in battle, but no innocence. You have to follow those rules, everyone else at camp is expected to follow the same standard. I can understand it will be difficult, work is never easy, but if you can't stay within those boundaries, I can't persuade the party logically to tolerate you.”
“The others won't tolerate me regardless if I do or don't. Maybe it's best to part ways,” he said.
“I,” she paused for a moment before sighing and continued, “… if that is your choice, I certainly won't stop you. But we need each other. I know the tadpole has more benefits for you, but if we don't find a way to remove them, we'll end up becoming mindflayers. Don't you want to be free of that anxiety? We could work together to find a way for you to permanently walk in the sun again, too. But we can't do this by ourselves, we can accomplish more together.”
His only answer was silence. She waited a few more moments before realizing their chat was over. Whatever his decision was, that was entirely out of her control. She had the conversation she wanted, if he wanted to leave, she had her closure. She sat up and dusted herself off.
“I'm sorry for being so rough with you. I do appreciate your patience and willingness to answer my questions. I'm not sure where our paths lead if this is where we part ways, but I hope yours leads you to safety and happiness. I'm going back to camp. Good night.” She placed his dagger next to him and walked away without a second glance.
Back at camp, comfortably snuggled by the campfire, slowly drifting off, she felt her nerves reignite. She heard the dirt crunch softly under his shoes. She could feel his steps shift the ground as he walked around her and sat by the fire. She peeked one eye open, just to make sure it's him and caught his gaze.
“I think I'll stay for a bit. I don't usually travel in big groups but … there is safety in numbers.” Astarion spoke quietly.
Bauruto's eyes trail from Astarion's to watch the flames dance, a single question burning in her mind.
“Have you eaten anything today?” She asked, glancing in his direction. He shook his head. She exhaled loudly as she sat up.
“Plants have properties that can help physically or mentally. Meat from strong animals also helps give the body energy-,” she began.
“I don't eat the same thing as you, remember?” Astarion snapped.
“- so maybe for you, since my body has taken in all benefits from the plants and meat, my blood could give you strength.” Her exhaustion was winning, and she couldn't filter her annoyance with his interruption.
He looked at her, dumbfounded. She began to untie her top garment, exposing her neck. He moved closer, hesitantly.
“Are you sure?” He asked.
“If we are traveling together, I need you at full strength. If you don't eat well, you won't be able to keep up. Just take what you need. I'll be ok.” She gave him a soft smile.
“Thank you,” He said, guiding her to lay back down. “This is a gift I won't forget.”
He moved fast, before she could respond or change her mind. As his teeth punctured her neck, she realized, too late, that he had bitten the wrong side, her scarred side. Her whole body felt engulfed in flames and for a moment she found herself flashing back to the time she acquired the scar. A fellow Drow, a presumed friend, struck her with the intent to cleave her head off.
Her body was still burned, but the sharp pain in her neck ebbed away. It wasn't the Drow this time, it was Astarion. She remained still, taking deep breaths, grounding herself to the present. Her discomfort wasn't a priority, she wanted him to eat. Her body could make more blood, she didn't need to worry. Her anxiety and past traumas were just flaring up, she could handle it like the countless times before.
She felt her body grow heavy, Gods she was tired. There was no fight left in her. She closed her eyes and drifted into a quiet darkness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Her flesh screamed, as if every pore had been stabbed with sharp, thin daggers. Her eyes burned and wept. Her joints and muscles were sore and stiff. Her nose felt dry and her mouth tasted of rot. Most of all, her neck hurt.
This time, it was different. She did not come to on the soft monastery cushions, wound in fresh bandages, like she had once long ago. This time she woke up on hard, red, mud, neck throbbing and oozing. Shadowheart was running to her aid, pulling her up to a sitting position but Bauruto brushed past her, pulling herself forward to a crawl. She could hear Shadowheart's voice, there was a plea in her tone, but Bauruto’s only focus was what she could see up ahead.
Lae'zel was already confronting Astarion. She had him cornered by his tent, her blade out. They were both shouting, but she couldn't make out what they were saying. There was conflict, she could see it, the tension in their faces.
She couldn't remember when she slipped between the two of them as a barrier, she only processed her actions when Lae'zel caught her eyes and her words cut through her brain fog like an executioner ax,
“... nd aside! I do not want this parasitic leech in our camp. I'm doing you a favor after what he did to you.”
“He was infected with illithid just like us, he has a right to be in our camp. He's not a parasite and deserves to live as much as the rest of us do!”
“Tck!” The Githyanki spat. “I found your lifeless body, I used the revive scroll on you. He couldn't even fix his mistake! He bled you dry and tossed you to the worms.”
“Thank you for looking out for me, Lae'zel. I don't deserve you, but I'm grateful nonetheless.” Bauruto said. “The fault does not lie with Astarion, but with me. I gave him my blood willingly, no tricks swayed my choice. The responsibility was mine to let him know when he went too far, I knew the risks. You caught me slipping, not Astarion.”
It wasn't enough to convince Lae'zel, but it was enough for her to back off from Astarion. Bauruto could feel her disapproval of her, and Shadowheart didn't agree with her choices but she certainly didn't let it show. Instead, she finally succeeded in budging Bauruto to sit down and accept some bloody healing.
Bauruto laid on the rock table, occasionally monitored by Shadowheart in case of complications, and would leave her fruits to snack on. It was shortly after she finished one of her rounds when Bauruto snuck towards Astarion’s tent.
He stepped out right as she approached the front flaps. She saw him open his mouth and before any sounds could be made to alert Lae'zel or Shadowheart, she covered his mouth and dragged him back into his tent.
He didn't resist as Bauruto listened for signs of Lae'zel or Shadowheart approaching. Hearing none, she breathed a sigh of relief and said, “I don't have much time before the others notice I'm not where they left me. I trust you can keep quiet?” He nodded and she released him. The energy she exhausted up until this moment caught up to her and she sat down, knees to her chest, dizzy and lightheaded.
“Last night was an aberration. It will never happen again,” he squatted down to her eye level.
“Don't be ridiculous,” Bauruto replied, “I refuse to let you starve if I can help it. I did tell you, take what you need, I didn't tell you when to stop. As I've told Lae'zel, that fault falls on me.”
“well … yes, but,” he said, clearing his throat, “I can hunt my own food. I'll admit, I got carried away last night and I do apologize. I would also prefer avoiding Lae'zel’s wrath again. No tadpole could keep me safe from her.” He chuckled flatly.
Bauruto cracked a smile in response, but she was losing her battle with exhaustion. She rested her head on her knees.
“It's your choice to make, I'm not here to sway you one way or another,” Bauruto said before adding, “I came here to say if you ever need blood again, all you have to do is ask.”
Silence and time stretched between them. Bauruto braced herself before standing up. She had to make it back before Shadowheart found her missing.
Standing up quickly was a mistake. The ground beneath her feet was threatening to meet her face. Her vision dimmed and filled with spots. Maybe crawling would have been easier. She took a couple steps, but tripped over something she couldn't see. Her unsteady balance and gravity were conspiring against her. An unknown force altered her path and instead of crashing into the soft earth, she collided into his chest.
He smelled of dirt and death - maybe it was her that smelled that way - but also of rosemary and bergamont. The herbal smells combined well with the musk of whiskey. She could feel his hand tighten against her arm, a pressure to step back, but the ground was spinning and he remained still as a pillar. She rested her forehead on his shoulder. It felt cool against her flushed face.
“Forgive me,” she mumbled wearily, “my head. The ground. It's spinning.”
“A side effect of losing so much blood,” he stated.
“Yes, I know. It has been a while since I lost a decent amount. Just have to adjust before my body makes more.”
“Pfft, more to share?” His tone carried a flair that Bauruto couldn't pick up in her weakened state.
“Not as much as you've previously taken, but if we're both in agreement, yes,” she looked up to meet his ruby stare, “My body will replenish...” She trailed off as she studies his face, the only thing her vision could focus on.
“You're staring,” his lip curled up, “what do you want?” His cold tone cut through Bauruto's haze.
“Was I? Forgive me, I can hardly feel present in my own head, much less body. I better get back, I've been gone longer than I'd like and if Shadowheart notices I'm gone, it'll be a bigger headache.” Bauruto takes a step back, slowly and carefully. She was sure Astarion wouldn't aid her again if her clumsy feet failed her. She made her way to the tent's entrance flaps, snuck a peek, making sure the coast was clear before she silently slipped out.
On the stone slab table, where Shadowheart would stop by to check up on her, Bauruto nibbled on some of the snacks. As she chewed slowly, she began to wander in the recesses of her mind, weighting her observations with other information she had collected. She found her thoughts coming back to Astarion.
The night prior, his skin was unnaturally ghostly pale, the skin under his eyes was sunken into deep, purple bags. But the day after he fed, his skin had more color, slight hints of warmth, and pink around his cheeks. His eyes still carried exhaustion, but there was more vibrancy, more energy brimming under the surface.
There was a swell boiling in her chest. Maybe it was the rush she felt knowing it had been her blood that caused these changes, that fueled him. She had helped him, it had been her doing, no one else's. But maybe replaying the scene over and over, being so close to see more details on his face than she'd ever been, his scent lingering in every corner of her mind, was stirring something awake in her that had been deeply slumbering. Its very presence threatened to swallow her in ruin. Of course Bauruto had no knowledge of what was occurring very deep within her. But she was never one to run from the inevitable, she'd be ready to face it, she'd just need to keep in tune, and be ready to identify it once it reached the surface.
Her racing heart requires her main focus right now. She needed to quell its speed, before she passed out again. Normally she would sit with her legs crossed, keeping her back straight, her head high, and resting her arms on her legs but this time she was taking precautions just in case she lost consciousness. She laid down on her back, her arms crossed across her chest, her right hand tracing her scars on her neck, searching for the sweet spot to feel her pulse, the other holding her snack close enough where she could occasionally lower her head and munch with minimal strain. She took a few deep breaths, and plunged into meditation. She would be okay, she had no other options.
